GL020 Lipstick Lies and Batting Lashes

It started out like any other job: follow the suspect, gather intel, and report your findings to HQ. Never once did it cross that thick little skull of yours that the alleged double agent would be a dame. It was an amateur assumption. Your training readied you to deal with all manners of thugs, firearms, and dangerous scenarios, but nothing could have prepared you for the sultry stare of those emerald green eyes. Sometimes the most dangerous weapon is the sweetest whisper.

This track was inspired by classic noir fiction by the likes of Dashiell Hammett, Mickey Spillane, and Raymond Chandler. I wanted to do something sneaky, light, and a little seductive. Musically, some of the inspiration came from Gabor Szabo, Mel Young, Henry Mancini, and John Cacavas.

If you intend to use this track for film, some of the horn stabs may conflict with dialogue or other on screen events. Because of this, I've provided versions of this track with them as well as the solo horn stabs for maximum editing flexibility. I've also included a brief stinger so you can edit an ending to the track should the need arise.

In an odd but welcome coincidence, I was working out the melodies for this piece when I got news that a game I had written a bunch of "spy jazz" for was finally released. If you enjoy this track and would like to hear more in a similar style, please consider checking out Burglars Inc. on the Apple Store. The demo version is free and allows you to play for hours before hitting a paywall.

As with all the things posted here, this is freely available for use in games and/or animation projects. It also works as a sort of demo of my style and abilities. I’m actively looking for new gigs, so if you enjoy anything here please get in touch to discuss some custom work.

I’ve provided separate intro/loop files for ease of editing. If you would like to use this free loop, please message me for attribution requirements.

GL020 Lipstick Lies and Batting Lashes Files

GL019 Ain't No Friend of Mine

You say we'll get coffee at quarter to 8
you make a promise you won't be late
you must have lied again
cause baby, it's half past 9

You say we'll split even but you're always broke
won't buy packs, but you'll bum a smoke
you'll trade five for ten,
Well you ain't no friend of mine

Okay, those lyrics are terrible; nobody ever accused me of being a librettist. Most music from this genre/era originated as a song, so it's fitting to think of something singable when writing a melody. I tend to think more in terms of syllables, general character, and plausible phrasing than concrete words (though "ain't no friend of mine" seemed to fit pretty early on). I figured the lyrics would have been something in the spirit of "The Lady Is a Tramp" or "Hit That Jive, Jack". The rest was improvised for this post. What do you want from me?

This track was inspired by a humorous montage of "Things Animation Girls Say"created by the very talented Rebecca Parham of Let Me Explain Studios. I was impressed by the writing, artistic style, and overall execution. Despite the absence of music I kept hearing this gypsy jazz-ish clarinet riff in my head. I had some time before I needed to start the next project, so I sketched out fragments of the melody and changes over the next few evenings while riding the subway to and from various engagements, and produced the track in a little over an evening. While the production is a little rough in some spots, I'm happy with how this one turned out considering it's a first attempt at producing something in this specific style of jazz.

This is the original video which inspired the music. While Rebecca was extremely supportive, she was understandably unable to alter the video without losing the current number of views, commentary, and general stats in the process. Please subscribe to her YouTube channel. It's full of creatively awesome things.

This loopable track is distributed with several options. Clarinets have the tendency to fight with the frequency range of spoken word, and the guitar solo may be too busy to work as background material for your project. Because of this, I've included a version with JUST rhythm guitar, drums, and bass as well as a sololess version with separate stems for the clarinet and guitar. This way you can edit together whatever version of the track works best with your project. I've also included the ending tag melody as a separate stinger so you can edit in an ending wherever you see fit.

As with all the things posted here, this is freely available for use in games and/or animation projects. It also works as a sort of demo of my style and abilities. I’m actively looking for new gigs, so if you enjoy anything here please get in touch to discuss some custom work.

I’ve provided separate intro/loop files for ease of editing. If you would like to use this free loop, please message me for attribution requirements.

GL019 Ain't No Friend of Mine Files

GL017 There's No Coffee In Hell

You've overslept, your shower breaks right after you apply shampoo, you realize you forgot to buy more coffee beans, you can't find your keys, you miss your train or bus, and by the time it's noon you've said every four letter word out loud 436 times. It's like being in Hell where, on top of overall general horribleness, there isn't even any coffee.

This kitschy track was written as a counterpoint to a hypothetical terrible morning. I don't know if there's much more to say about it. It's simple, light, kind of cheesy, and features piano, strings, trumpet with harmon mute, and drum kit with brushes.

As with all the things posted here, this is freely available for use in games and/or animation projects. It also works as a short demo of my style and abilities. I’m actively looking for new gigs, so if you enjoy anything here please get in touch to discuss some custom work.

I’ve provided separate intro/loop files for ease of editing. If you would like to use this royalty free loop, please message me for attribution requirements.

GL017 There's No Coffee In Hell Files

GL013 Get Fabulous

“Welcome swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous! We’ve set the bar high with a bar-none no holds barred wet bar. Get loosey goosey and party hardy - it’s time to mingle!”

As I’ve gotten older I’ve really come to appreciate the kitschy ‘60’s era pop-jazz. This is the stuff being churned out by Henry Mancini, Esquivel, Herb Alpert, and was featured as intro music to such shows as Bewitched, I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie, Lost in Space, Star Trek, and more. Granted there are minor stylistic differences between all the aforementioned themes, it all occupies the same kitschy space in my heart. There was very serious jazz happening at this time in many different pockets, but this is the music that Dad’s got on vinyl party compilations promising light dinner hits, swingin’ cocktail parties, and “exotic” dance stylings of the mambo, bossa nova, and cha-cha. I can’t even begin to describe how much I love this stuff. I’m sure a lot of it comes from my love for Archer and The Venture Bros. By the way, #Animators! If you ever do a project like that I really really REALLY want to write music for you. Just saying.

This track was created for a game called Pixel Hero - Prologue. This is game is actually a teaser - merely an appetizer for what is to come. If fully funded, I’ll have the opportunity to REALLY stretch out and write more music in this style. Please consider making a donation if you’re even the slightest bit interested in this project. Here’s more info:

As with all the things posted here, this is freely available for use in games and/or animation projects. It also works as a sort of demo of my style and abilities. I’m actively looking for new gigs, so if you like anything here please get in touch and we can discuss some custom work.

I’ve provided separate intro/loop files for ease of editing. If you would like to use this royalty free loop, please message me.

GL013 Get Fabulous Files

GL007 Spy Theme Excerpt 01

This track isn’t really a loop. I wrote it just after purchasing the Broadway Big Band instrument library and wanted to learn how to use the software. I have an ongoing love affair with all things Archer/Venture Bros and wanted to do some “spy music”. This ended up being a bit too bombastic to really be effective in a spy context, but I liked the bluesy saxophone melody harmonized in concerted rhythms. That said, this is titled “Excerpt” as the melody really should be developed further and permutated to make this a full fledged track. Unfortunately I lost steam between dusting off my jazz chops and learning the new software (both of which make doing ANY writing a huge amount of work) and it’s unlikely I’ll do any more work on this particular excerpt. I’ll probably end up stealing bits of this for future works, though. Time will tell.

This was a first try and I’m not 100% in love with the production, but we all have to start somewhere. I hope to do more of this type of stuff in the future. If you’re working on an animation (or video game for that matter) that is anything like Archer or Venture Bros, by all means get in touch. Working on a gig like that would fulfill all sorts of dreams.

No loop files are provided with this one as it’s not really a loop. I’ve provided a direct download in the event that I reach my max on Soundcloud, though. If you would like to use this royalty free track, please message me.

GL007 Spy Theme Excerpt 01 Direct Download